yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize