Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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