y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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