There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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