You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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