help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize