Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize