A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize