I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Houston, we have a squirter
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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