Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize