Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize