all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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