i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize