wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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