yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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