Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize