Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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