Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize