You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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