Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize