Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize