yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize