i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize