God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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