remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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