I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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