Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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