he puts the penis in happiness.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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