Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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