Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize