you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize