There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize