She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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