Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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