Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
how drunk are you?
Several
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize