The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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