just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize