thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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