True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize