I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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