my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize