i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You need a sexual gate keeper
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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