i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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