I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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