good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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