My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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