The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Still dying that you shit outside
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By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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