look no pants
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize