wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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