one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize